Electing Mayor McFartface

I feel like no one can agree on politics. The only thing we can all agree on is that politics suck. There's nothing I like more than spending my brain power on trying to figure out who is being less misleading. My senior class voted me "Most Likely to Run for Political Office". That might have had something to do with how I was a bossy student body officer (Notice that I wasn't voted most likely to BE a politician, just that I would run). At the time, I was like, "Five thousand star-eyed babies! Let's go shopping for pant suits, constituents!" And now all I want to do is make a million dollars by writing this blog that has no theme or direction. That plan is working out well.

In order to make my million dollars, I have to write words. So this is what I think about a political thing:

I just don't understand how a corporation can be considered a person, legally. So, some of it makes sense. The right to sue or be sued the same as a person, that makes sense. It means that a corporation is a single entity, which makes a lot of sense in terms of taxation and regulation. It also makes sense that because a corporation is not made up solely of Joe CEO, but a collection of individuals, those individuals should not be denied their rights when acting together. Cool. Good on you, Supreme Court. And there are some things that are denied corporations, but that we as individuals have the right to. Like, you can ask me in court all day long whether or not I did, in fact, do my hair like Legolas all during 8th grade. And I could reply, "I decline to answer pursuant to my fifth amendment rights," (I only know that phrase because I am obsessed with Suits). Corporations can't do that. They HAVE to answer. Embarrassing or not (not that doing your hair like Legolas is embarrassing. Braids are IN right now). 

My issue here is that corporations can be involved in campaigns. I feel like this is something that doesn't make sense. If I work for one of those cool companies with the slides and nerf gun fights, there is someone there above me who can decide to give money to Mayor McFartface. In fact, they don't even have to tell me, or anyone else, that they contributed to the reign of McFartface. There is no board approval necessary. How does this make sense? So one time, in the middle of a heated nerf gun fight, it occurred to me that this seems a little unfair. The only reason my company can even do that is because me and my coworkers exist, and they are considered a person in order to protect us. If Mayor McFartface is championing a plan to slaughter all the beautiful people, OBVIOUSLY I don't want to support him. Shouldn't it make sense that if the company can only give because of me, shouldn't I be involved in the decision-making process? 

Hmmm. But democratically choosing whom to give money to kind of sounds like a sucky and time consuming job. So maybe we just tell corporations that they can't contribute anymore. Makes sense to me.