Here are some tips, based on my extensive experience, for those of you who aren't as awesome as I am at motherhood.
A. When the baby starts to whine at night, ignore it until it becomes full out crying (and you can't sleep through it anymore). That way you teach the baby not only to try and figure things out on their own, but also not to bother you.
B. Sometimes when the baby falls asleep when you are out, put them in their carrier without buckling them.When you are ready to go, forget that you didn't buckle them and put them in the car that way. Let them ride in the car without being buckled. Babies really like the sense of danger. Another plus is that if they learn to handle risks well at an early age, they will be really successful when investing in the stock market*(*results not typical).
C. If that darn baby manages to get you up at night by disturbing your sleep and you notice that their diaper is wet, don't change it. It teaches babies that you aren't going to cater to their every whim. Also, you will probably make it hard for them to go back to sleep which means it will be even longer before you can go back to sleep. Boooooo.
D. When the baby is content to watch the terrible reality TV shows that you like, let them. Don't change the channel to some namby-pamby baby crap with classical music and letters and stuff. How else are they supposed to learn about the world if they don't watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians? Babies have their whole lives to learn letters. They only have a small window in which to determine how to interact with other people and then BOOM, they're in preschool. They need to be prepared.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Project #1: Baby mobile!
As I briefly mentioned in a previous post, I am going nuts for DIY projects to cute up my house. D is relieved that I actually finished one! My first completed project is a mobile I made to go over Reese's crib, since her "nursery" is a corner of the living room and I wanted to make it seem a little more nursery. I based it on this project I found on Pinterest:
I loved the pink ombre colors and how soft and sweet and feminine it was. Also, it's made with paint chips! And they are free! So in order to make this, I went to Lowe's to get the paint chips, and I ran into a little lamp shade that was $2 on clearance. I originally had a square one I was intending on using, but late one night on his way to get the crying baby Dave stumbled into my "craft room" (aka living room floor) and broke it. So, I was very happy when I found a replacement lamp shade on clearance. I took that there lamp shade home and used very primitive tactics to remove the cover on the lampshade, leaving just the exposed frame. Note to self: add exacto knife to your Christmas wish list.
Anyway, in the original project, the lady used a frilly edged punch to get her circles, but since I already had 1.5 diameter circle punch without a frilly edge, I decided that I even if I omitted the decorative edge. After punching for what seemed like forever (and even trip #2 to Lowe's to get more paint chips) I started making the strips. I lined them up end to end, put down a string of thread, and then laid a long piece of tape down the whole row. I seriously don't know how she did it, but I could not for the life of me get my rows straight. And even if I did manage to get it straight, I would inevitably tape it crooked onto the lampshade skeleton. It was frustrating. I was annoyed that this project looked so simple and I was really struggling to get it right. Then, laying in bed, I had a flash of insight. So, instead of trying to make this work, I went and ripped apart all the strips I had already put together, made my thread longer and taped double-sided circles to it. Here was my result!
(sorry it's a bad picture. I took it with my phone)
I actually think I like it more this way. The only thing I would've done differently is that I would've spray painted the lampshade cream if I had known I was going to make it so much more visible than it is in my inspiration project. But I love it! It looks perfect right over her crib and makes her little nook feel a little less like living room. All in all, this project only cost me $2 for a lampshade!
I loved the pink ombre colors and how soft and sweet and feminine it was. Also, it's made with paint chips! And they are free! So in order to make this, I went to Lowe's to get the paint chips, and I ran into a little lamp shade that was $2 on clearance. I originally had a square one I was intending on using, but late one night on his way to get the crying baby Dave stumbled into my "craft room" (aka living room floor) and broke it. So, I was very happy when I found a replacement lamp shade on clearance. I took that there lamp shade home and used very primitive tactics to remove the cover on the lampshade, leaving just the exposed frame. Note to self: add exacto knife to your Christmas wish list.
Anyway, in the original project, the lady used a frilly edged punch to get her circles, but since I already had 1.5 diameter circle punch without a frilly edge, I decided that I even if I omitted the decorative edge. After punching for what seemed like forever (and even trip #2 to Lowe's to get more paint chips) I started making the strips. I lined them up end to end, put down a string of thread, and then laid a long piece of tape down the whole row. I seriously don't know how she did it, but I could not for the life of me get my rows straight. And even if I did manage to get it straight, I would inevitably tape it crooked onto the lampshade skeleton. It was frustrating. I was annoyed that this project looked so simple and I was really struggling to get it right. Then, laying in bed, I had a flash of insight. So, instead of trying to make this work, I went and ripped apart all the strips I had already put together, made my thread longer and taped double-sided circles to it. Here was my result!
(sorry it's a bad picture. I took it with my phone)
I actually think I like it more this way. The only thing I would've done differently is that I would've spray painted the lampshade cream if I had known I was going to make it so much more visible than it is in my inspiration project. But I love it! It looks perfect right over her crib and makes her little nook feel a little less like living room. All in all, this project only cost me $2 for a lampshade!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Baby Lists
I don't even know what to say. We had our sweet little baby Reese two weeks ago today! It's hard for me to sum up how our lives have changed. Instead of giving you the gory details of the birth and telling you just how awesome my pelvis is, I am going to list things about motherhood that have surprised me in the last two weeks. I really need to figure out some other way to organize my thoughts other than lists.
1. The paranoia. Historically, cute Dave is the paranoid one. He was paranoid about everything during the pregnancy. I was really good at the ole eye-roll when he would tell me that our baby would come out deformed if I didn't eat broccoli (I didn't eat it, and she is beautiful). Now, since removing the child from my uterus I am the paranoid one. Wha?? When did that happen? The first night it was just the three of us at home I noticed her toes were purple/blue. I thought she was dying and couldn't breathe and wasn't getting the oxygen to tell us that! I grabbed the keys to take her to the emergency room. Dave made me google it first. Google told me it was normal. Phew. I am constantly taking her temperature, and interpreting every squeak as a sign of some awful disease. Someone needs to cut me off from WebMD. I am projecting my hypochondriac mania onto my baby. I need to start doing yoga again and calm down.
2. The guilt. Now, don't get me wrong. I am happy. I will get to that later. But, honestly, there has been guilt and that was something that took me by surprise. Everyone gives you the advice that in the hospital you should let the nurses take the baby while you get some sleep. I let them take her for probably 6 of the 48 hours we were there. Primarily because she was new and beautiful and all mine, but I also felt guilty letting her out of my sight. A part of me felt like I would fail the first test of motherhood if I pawned her off onto other people.
At the hospital she nursed really well. She would eat and then fall right asleep with her belly full of colostrum. When we went home, my milk started to come in. Things went swimmingly. My mom stayed the first night with us, but Reesey was such an angel that I knew we could do it on our own the second night. That night was awful. I nursed for what seemed like 5 hours, and my baby was still screaming and crying and telling me she was hungry. She would eat for 20 minutes, fall asleep, and as soon as I would put her down in her crib she would start right back up again with her pathetic starving cry. Finally, I was so distraught and worn out that I fed her some formula* because I was sick of it. She took down the whole 2 ounces (she's only 4 days old here, so that's impressive) and slept like a rock the rest of the night. She was finally happy, but as I sat there feeding her the formula on the couch I sobbed. My exclusively breast-fed baby was drinking formula. I, as a mother, was stripping my child of valuable nutrients and anti-bodies just because I was tired. I was overcome with guilt. I felt like a horrible, selfish failure. I was also sleep-deprived, so I did not even try to suppress my tears. I was sobbing so loudly that Dave came out into the living room (aka the nursery) looking panicked and asking what was wrong with the baby. My response was, "She's drinking formula!" He just looked at me. I think he was worried about my sanity at that point, because his reply was, "Maybe you should call your mom in the morning and have her come stay with you and the baby." Ha. This makes me laugh now, but at the time I was so very upset. So after putting my happy, full baby to sleep I finally got some sleep myself. The next morning I got up and decided to try and pump, because if she's gonna eat from a bottle, at least it can be breastmilk. I couldn't even pump 2 ounces from the both of them. My poor girl had been trying so hard to nurse, but was getting nothing from it. That's why she had been so grumpy. She really was starving! That assuaged my guilt from the formula a little, but brought with it guilt about my stupid evil boobs trying to starve my baby and not working right. I did my best over the next few days to try and teach them that they needed to produce more for my kid, but at the same time I had to feed her more formula. I have managed not quite to quiet, but at least stifle the guilt that comes when I feed her formula. My milk has been a lot more plentiful, but she still has formula every now and then. Do I know this guilt is irrational? Yes I do. There are so many cases when women choose not to or cannot breastfeed, and it's not like that makes the difference between ivy league and community college later on. I just had made the decision that I would breast feed, and for me when I couldn't provide everything she needed it felt like a slap in the face from failure. I have done my best to convince my brain that getting nutrition from formula is better than getting no nutrition at all, and that sometimes it will honestly be impossible for me to nurse her. But I still get a twinge of guilt every time we make her a bottle. But no sobbing! Progress!
3. the change in priorities. Today is my birthday. People have been asking me what I want for my birthday for the last couple weeks. BR (before Reese) I had imagined that I would milk this birthday to its fullest, seeing as how I would be a brand new mom, frazzled, and in need of something extravagant. I feel the opposite now. I don't need anything, because I have everything. I have been unable to think of something I want, and when I do it's something like a Moby wrap, which will make carrying my sweet kid around easier. I live in a Reese-centric universe. Someone tell Galileo!
4. bionic ears. How is it that I can sleep through alarm clocks, but if my baby sighs in the next room, I can be roused from my REM cycle? Also, how does Dave sleep through it all!?
5. Nesting. Still. Pinterest has been my savior and favorite pal during the nighttime feedings. I have gotten about a billion DIY projects that I am going to do. Like this super sweet mobile (I am not going to show you the link, because I will post pictures after it's done. And then I will not tell you how easy it was) and some glowing jars. I am in craft-mode.
6. I didn't know that this much happiness could exist. When Dave and I fell in love I felt like my heart's capacity for love and happiness had expanded. It's done it again. Exponentially. We probably can't have more kids, because if this keeps happening I just might 'splode.
*Women who feed their babies formula are still wonderful mothers. In no way do I think women who breastfeed are superior or better mothers.
1. The paranoia. Historically, cute Dave is the paranoid one. He was paranoid about everything during the pregnancy. I was really good at the ole eye-roll when he would tell me that our baby would come out deformed if I didn't eat broccoli (I didn't eat it, and she is beautiful). Now, since removing the child from my uterus I am the paranoid one. Wha?? When did that happen? The first night it was just the three of us at home I noticed her toes were purple/blue. I thought she was dying and couldn't breathe and wasn't getting the oxygen to tell us that! I grabbed the keys to take her to the emergency room. Dave made me google it first. Google told me it was normal. Phew. I am constantly taking her temperature, and interpreting every squeak as a sign of some awful disease. Someone needs to cut me off from WebMD. I am projecting my hypochondriac mania onto my baby. I need to start doing yoga again and calm down.
2. The guilt. Now, don't get me wrong. I am happy. I will get to that later. But, honestly, there has been guilt and that was something that took me by surprise. Everyone gives you the advice that in the hospital you should let the nurses take the baby while you get some sleep. I let them take her for probably 6 of the 48 hours we were there. Primarily because she was new and beautiful and all mine, but I also felt guilty letting her out of my sight. A part of me felt like I would fail the first test of motherhood if I pawned her off onto other people.
At the hospital she nursed really well. She would eat and then fall right asleep with her belly full of colostrum. When we went home, my milk started to come in. Things went swimmingly. My mom stayed the first night with us, but Reesey was such an angel that I knew we could do it on our own the second night. That night was awful. I nursed for what seemed like 5 hours, and my baby was still screaming and crying and telling me she was hungry. She would eat for 20 minutes, fall asleep, and as soon as I would put her down in her crib she would start right back up again with her pathetic starving cry. Finally, I was so distraught and worn out that I fed her some formula* because I was sick of it. She took down the whole 2 ounces (she's only 4 days old here, so that's impressive) and slept like a rock the rest of the night. She was finally happy, but as I sat there feeding her the formula on the couch I sobbed. My exclusively breast-fed baby was drinking formula. I, as a mother, was stripping my child of valuable nutrients and anti-bodies just because I was tired. I was overcome with guilt. I felt like a horrible, selfish failure. I was also sleep-deprived, so I did not even try to suppress my tears. I was sobbing so loudly that Dave came out into the living room (aka the nursery) looking panicked and asking what was wrong with the baby. My response was, "She's drinking formula!" He just looked at me. I think he was worried about my sanity at that point, because his reply was, "Maybe you should call your mom in the morning and have her come stay with you and the baby." Ha. This makes me laugh now, but at the time I was so very upset. So after putting my happy, full baby to sleep I finally got some sleep myself. The next morning I got up and decided to try and pump, because if she's gonna eat from a bottle, at least it can be breastmilk. I couldn't even pump 2 ounces from the both of them. My poor girl had been trying so hard to nurse, but was getting nothing from it. That's why she had been so grumpy. She really was starving! That assuaged my guilt from the formula a little, but brought with it guilt about my stupid evil boobs trying to starve my baby and not working right. I did my best over the next few days to try and teach them that they needed to produce more for my kid, but at the same time I had to feed her more formula. I have managed not quite to quiet, but at least stifle the guilt that comes when I feed her formula. My milk has been a lot more plentiful, but she still has formula every now and then. Do I know this guilt is irrational? Yes I do. There are so many cases when women choose not to or cannot breastfeed, and it's not like that makes the difference between ivy league and community college later on. I just had made the decision that I would breast feed, and for me when I couldn't provide everything she needed it felt like a slap in the face from failure. I have done my best to convince my brain that getting nutrition from formula is better than getting no nutrition at all, and that sometimes it will honestly be impossible for me to nurse her. But I still get a twinge of guilt every time we make her a bottle. But no sobbing! Progress!
3. the change in priorities. Today is my birthday. People have been asking me what I want for my birthday for the last couple weeks. BR (before Reese) I had imagined that I would milk this birthday to its fullest, seeing as how I would be a brand new mom, frazzled, and in need of something extravagant. I feel the opposite now. I don't need anything, because I have everything. I have been unable to think of something I want, and when I do it's something like a Moby wrap, which will make carrying my sweet kid around easier. I live in a Reese-centric universe. Someone tell Galileo!
4. bionic ears. How is it that I can sleep through alarm clocks, but if my baby sighs in the next room, I can be roused from my REM cycle? Also, how does Dave sleep through it all!?
5. Nesting. Still. Pinterest has been my savior and favorite pal during the nighttime feedings. I have gotten about a billion DIY projects that I am going to do. Like this super sweet mobile (I am not going to show you the link, because I will post pictures after it's done. And then I will not tell you how easy it was) and some glowing jars. I am in craft-mode.
6. I didn't know that this much happiness could exist. When Dave and I fell in love I felt like my heart's capacity for love and happiness had expanded. It's done it again. Exponentially. We probably can't have more kids, because if this keeps happening I just might 'splode.
*Women who feed their babies formula are still wonderful mothers. In no way do I think women who breastfeed are superior or better mothers.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Nine months later...
Here is a list of things that are different since we last met:
1. I have completed 38 weeks of pregnancy.
2.
That might be the only difference. But it is a HUGE one! Sadly, that can also be taken literally. I die a little inside each time I go to the doctor and have to step on the scale. For some reason that feeling doesn't stick with me very long though. Definitely not long enough for me to deny myself that costco cake (and why would I? The bakery at costco puts magic in those cakes).
It is an interesting experience, though, creating life. My pregnancy has been pretty darn easy comparatively, so I am not going to fill this post with my woes. I remember once sitting in 9th grade English class looking down at my stomach, and I had a very poignant realization that some day that thing would house a person. Okay, I'm not stupid, and I knew prior to that experience that that's how it works. But knowing something intellectually and then having a realization emotionally are two separate and distinct things. I've had a lot of those over the last 38 weeks.
I love to list things, so here is my (probably cliched) list of some things that are actually cool about being pregnant:
1. The first time you feel the baby move is awesome. Some people get sick of it. I haven't. It's weird/amazing/beautiful. One of my primary kids asked why my baby wiggles so much. I told her it was because she is bored. She really probably is. Poor kid. But I like it.
2. Naps. I take them all the time. I love them. I feel zero guilt napping while pregnant.
3. I have a seriously awesome rack. Temporary? Yes. Is it going to be pitiful later? All signs point to yes. But for now, things are good (it's just a pity everything else looks awful right now..sigh. you can't have it all)
4. Sometimes you just need a good, long, irrational cry. I find a lot of my stories lately end with "..and I burst into tears."
5. Avoiding heavy lifting. This one is a double-edged sword though. Good when I don't want to lift stuff. Bad when I am nesting like crazy and want to rearrange all the furniture. I've had to settle for other psycho nesting acts instead, like vacuuming out cupboards, scrubbing the front door, and vacuuming the porch.
6. I waited until number six to state this one, but who am I kidding? This is definitely one of my favorites. I eat what I want in whatever quantities I want anytime I want. Yes, I do realize pregnancy will end, and I will have a tough habit to break. But that's later.
7. I am so large/hot/sick of being hungry all the time that I am really really excited to go into labor. Mother nature sure knows how to get you excited for something that should really scare you senseless. But I am ready. I am right now (it's almost midnight) contemplating scrubbing my floor because apparently the motions can assist your labor starting. The only problem is that my floor is spotless because I've already tried this 3 times this week. Hmmm.
8. Seeing Dave switch into Daddy mode has me goo goo eyed for him. It's the puppy love stage all over again. He is so in love with this baby, and that makes me crazier about him. Even in his sleep, his instinct is to hold my belly (which is adorable, but lately I've had to push him away because I have been a billion degrees). All it takes is for him to sing, talk, or try and high-five the baby, and I am blissfully happy. This is my all-time favorite thing about being pregnant.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Some of my favorite things
Oprah does this. People seem to enjoy it. The only difference here is that these are My Favorite Things; Pregnancy Edition, and that you will not be receiving any of these items. Unless you buy them.
On a side note, why hasn't America's favorite talk show host ever had children?? This seems like a real missed opportunity. Cool people are the ones that SHOULD be procreating.
And here we goooooooooo! (I am trying to phonetically recreate Oprah-speak. Just go with me on this).
There are soooo many products out there for pregnancy. Since I am only sort of rich, I have not bought most of them. They have specialized curvy pillows that are supposed to cradle your expanding body. I'm not gonna lie, it's not always easy to get comfortable when you're pregnant. Especially if, like me, you are a back and belly sleeper. However, I spent ten well allocated dollars on a body pillow from walmart. It has been amazing. It's almost like tricking yourself into thinking you're sleeping on your belly. Does it contain patented contour shaping technology, like the Snoogle? Nope. Does it look completely ridiculous and have no function post pregnancy, like the Snoogle? Nope. Does it cost a bajillion dollars, like the Snoogle? Also no. So, while I'm sure the Snoogle is comfortable, I'll tell you that I have been pleased with my simple little $10 body pillow.
 |
Snoogle! Not only does it look retarded, but it has a stupid name too. |
2. Panty Liners
I won't go into too much detail here, but these are great for those unexpected sneezes. And now we will move on. (I know what you're thinking....what, no picture? You'll just have to use your imagination on this one.)
3. Flip Flops
Especially for the last trimester, these have been my best friend. This way as my feet expand throughout the day, they have room to. The only con here is that my feet get really dirty. I hate that. Since I can't exactly reach my feet right now, I have to beg Dave to take a couple baby wipes to my feet and clean them off. I have only been successful in convincing him to do this like twice. My other option is to sit down in the shower after they have gotten soft to scrub them. I worry that someday I will find myself on the floor of my shower, unable to get back up. Buuut the flip flops are worth it.
4. Unisom
It is an over-the-counter sleeping pill that my OB told me to take to help with my morning sickness during the first trimester. It didn't really solve that...but it is powerful. I was only taking 1/4 of a dose, and it was enough to pretty much knock me out. When pregnancy insomnia strikes, this is my savior. I still only take 1/4 of a dose, because that way it puts me to sleep, but doesn't leave grogginess the next day. The best part is that it's not something I need every night. Usually it just takes one time to get my body back on track for the next few weeks. I love it.
5. C.O. Bigelow Lip Gloss
This was a staple before pregnancy, but I feel like it is important to note now too. Pregnancy is weird, and suddenly this body that I have been used to is completely different. Even my face is fatter. It's frustrating to me to feel so ugly all the time without being able to do anything about it. I know, I know, it's going to all be worth it in the end. I really do know that. But in the meantime, it has been important for my sanity and self-esteem to do things that make me feel pretty. Silly me, thinking that body image issues only existed during the teenage years.
Seriously, there are SO MANY "must-have" products out there for pregnant mamas. Somehow I have survived without most of them. I think I'll probably make it all the way through without them too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)