Thanksgiving Hangover

Over the years I have discovered a few things about myself:
1. I revert back to my child ways whenever I am at my parents' house.
2. I can't think when it's messy (unless, of course, I am at my parents' house).
3. I have problems with authority. I quickly become irate when told what to do.
4. For all my feminist leanings, I really love to cook and clean and ensure that my apartment smells like apple cinnamon.
5. I really DON'T like tuna fish. Odd.
6. I feel the greatest sense of urgency to blog when I am particularly annoyed.

Which is, of course, the case today. I love my parents. I have such a profound sense of gratitude for their generosity, especially now that I am in college and I can't seem to support myself with the job that I have. I can't seem to find a second job either. So, I make approximately $200 a month. I am trying to save up for next semester, but I am also trying not to starve. These are both difficult things.

The issue of money is especially frustrating in my apartmentship. I make the least amount of money. I am positive about that. I only work seven hours a week and make less than eight dollars an hour. However I am always the one in my apartment that cleans and I have even spent my money at Robert's for decorations of our apartment when they have the 75% off sales. I also enjoy cooking, so many a time I have fed more than just myself. At one point in time I also bought a giant package of toilet paper to put in our bathroom. When we were out of handsoap I sacrificed my bath & body works soap for the main bathroom (as opposed to the private sink in my own bedroom) and then when that soap was out, I went and bought refill soap for our ceramic hand soap pump. I just feel that if I don't do it, no one will. This is quite a good setup for my roommates, but not for me.

Hopefully you will understand why exactly I was annoyed when my roommate came to me and told me that I needed to give her a few dollars because we were out of toilet paper. It's really not about the couple dollars (which I gave to her). It's the principle of the matter. I have the least to give, but I honestly feel that I contribute the most. I already contributed a buttload (haha) of toilet paper. I even did an experiment where I cleaned every inch of my apartment and then didn't touch it, just to see if anyone else cleaned. No one does. People sometimes de-clutter, but they don't clean. Especially not anyone else's stuff. This is frustrating, because on many occasions I have created stacks of junk for each roommate and just put their items in their room. I don't understand why everyone is just out for themselves. It seems impossible for them to be concerned about larger things as a whole. They just want to do their own thing and ignore everyone else. I don't understand.

I am in a sticky situation. I need more cleaning supplies, but I refuse to buy them because I am the only one that ever even uses them. How is that fair to me? So my apartment is getting dirty, I can't think, and I am afraid to bring any of this stuff up to my roommates. It seems impossible to keep the peace and a clean house. I need to get married.