how to be the best mother in the world

Here are some tips, based on my extensive experience, for those of you who aren't as awesome as I am at motherhood.

A. When the baby starts to whine at night, ignore it until it becomes full out crying (and you can't sleep through it anymore). That way you teach the baby not only to try and figure things out on their own, but also not to bother you.
B. Sometimes when the baby falls asleep when you are out, put them in their carrier without buckling them.When you are ready to go, forget that you didn't buckle them and put them in the car that way. Let them ride in the car without being buckled. Babies really like the sense of danger. Another plus is that if they learn to handle risks well at an early age, they will be really successful when investing in the stock market*(*results not typical).
C. If that darn baby manages to get you up at night by disturbing your sleep and you notice that their diaper is wet, don't change it. It teaches babies that you aren't going to cater to their every whim. Also, you will probably make it hard for them to go back to sleep which means it will be even longer before you can go back to sleep. Boooooo.
D. When the baby is content to watch the terrible reality TV shows that you like, let them. Don't change the channel to some namby-pamby baby crap with classical music and letters and stuff. How else are they supposed to learn about the world if they don't watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians? Babies have their whole lives to learn letters. They only have a small window in which to determine how to interact with other people and then BOOM, they're in preschool. They need to be prepared.