Not an informative post

My usual cop-out for not blogging is the "I have nothing to say," excuse. I realized today that this is false. I mean, obviously. I never shut up. So my real excuse is, "I am so opinionated that everything I would like to say will offend someone." We all know how it goes in the movies. You say something about someone, then your relationship changes and you feel awful about what you used to think and then they find some trace of it. So, I am going to keep things as vague as possible. We all know that makes for fantastic reading.

The other day the husband and I were presented with some choices. Mostly one big one. A life-altering one. It was met with hardly any enthusiasm, even though he and I feel very enthusiastic and confident about it. I mean, this is way bigger than the whole "How high of a thread-count are we willing to buy?" or "white or wheat?" kind of thing. I feel that we have already made our decision, but it is sort of a change of pace that those around us aren't as supportive as we thought. We are very blessed to be surrounded by people who love and support us, in most cases :). We are both the youngest children, so I feel like that is part of it. This is going to be a slow process, for this decision to take effect, and we have already done oodles of research. We've weighed the pros and the cons, we've taken a spiritual approach...but we're still the babies in the family, so I'm sure it's disconcerting for everyone to see this decision and think that we can understand the depth of it. We sure can.

Besides, if it all goes to crap, what's the worst that could happen?

Babies and Books

I love summer! Team Dorius loves summer. We have so many plans! Dave is gobbling up books like crazy. I think he's read about 7 in the last couple weeks. I am in a close second with 2. Ha. Relating to that, let me give you my critique of Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol.

The Da Vinci Code was fast-paced and intriguing. The Lost Symbol was fast paced. It has some interesting twists, but (SPOILER ALERT!) I just found the whole thing redundant, over dramatic, and pointless. Exactly why is it necessary to keep different pieces of the puzzle separate, because they are "too powerful" when at the end they are simply a tool of piquing interest? It's full of "man-is God" doctrine and complicated clues loosely tied to a non-solution of metaphor. All in all, I kept waiting for it to hold my interest and attention the way The Da Vinci Code did, but we never reached that. Sorry, Mr. Brown, but the book stunk of desperation. It seemed so forced. You took a good shot, but you probably should've just quit while you were ahead.

In other news, we have a new little person in our family! Dave's sister had a little boy on May 4th. His name is Trenton. He was born with a little cleft palate, so when we went to visit him he was in the infant ICU (NICU), simply because he needed a little feeding tube, because he had to be taught to eat. He was carried full term, so he is normal sized. Next to all the other NICU babies he's a giant. It broke my heart a little to see these tiny things. Trenton's roommate had the most adorable hiccups, followed by an alarming (to me) attempt to rip out his feeding tube. Mommy and baby should be coming home today.

Seeing all those teenies reminds how far I still am from being ready to have my own. I think there's still a lot Dave and I need to do first. Not in the have a career, buy a house, get a nice car sense, more in the emotional/spiritual sense. I know that nothing quite prepares you for being a parent, but I would like to do the best I can and skip any regrets. I will NOT let my child read The Lost Symbol. What a waste of time.

Life is good and hard.

Maybe this stuff is too heavy for a blog that is basically visable to anyone (though I'm sure no one really looks) but I just feel like I need to have a vent session.

For the last 8 married months of my life I have never felt happiness like this. I have never felt poverty like this, I have never felt wealthy like this. But at the same time I feel like now that I am in my "real life" things matter so much more, which has also created an un-before-seen amount of stress on me.

First it was the money. That was such a great lesson. We literally had nothing. We would've gone down to steal food from family more often if we could've afforded the gas. We got to a point where we had eaten all of our ramen, mac n' cheese, and spaghetti noodles. We were hungry, but somehow managed to have just enough for bills, after tithing, of course. Never had either of us struggled like that before. Dave really stepped up to the plate and turned into this wonderful money manager, despite a history (for both of us) of a casual approach to money management. Once we finally had some more money coming in we felt so overwhelmed(in the "my cup runneth o'er" kind of way). We could buy milk. Every week if we wanted to! That was a wonderful and HARD thing we went through. I am so grateful, but at the time I would occasionally break down into tears with fear, pressure, and the arguments that came from it.

Now we are onto an entirely new lesson. Dave and I are having some health problems. Dave more than me, but I'm sure it will all work out eventually.

Crazies here there and everywhere!

I run across all sorts of people in my line of work. That's probably because I work in the mall. There are a couple instances in which my desire to give superior customer service has faltered to my desire to bludgeon people instead. Unfortunately, I have never acted on the compulsion, but I am becoming increasingly more volatile. We'll see how the day goes.

I work at a little cinnamon roll shop at the mall. Most customers are pretty predictable. We get the geriatric crowd that is ever-present at the mall. They always want the bites, which are our miniature cinnamon rolls about 1" in diameter. They are sold in a pack of four, but usually the old ladies want one or two. That's sort of annoying, but it happens all the time.

On one particular day when I was already agitated because of the shoddy closing job a fellow employee had done the night before, I got one such old lady. She wanted a single bite. Fantastic. I rang her up, she paid the whopping $.69 and she pointed out which bite she wanted. I grabbed it for her and put it on a plate and handed it to her. She looked at it and told me it was too small. Wow. Really, lady? So I assured her that they were all the same size, which is entirely true. We make most things from scratch here, but not the bites. Too much of a pain. They get shipped raw and frozen to us, in all their consistent factory-made glory. However she insisted that her bite, the very one she first demanded that she must have, was much too small. I am not sure what exactly she was expecting, seeing as they are called bites. She handed the plate with the original bite on it to me. I chucked it in the garbage. She was appalled. "I didn't even touch it!" I tried explaining to her that in no way is it okay for me to serve out a food item and then put it back in the case for another customer to buy. That didn't make a lot of sense to her since, after all, she hadn't even touched it. I finally got her bite that was sized to her liking and bid farewell and good riddance to her. I know, she wasn't that bad, but for some reason that has left me seething and rolling my eyes. However, it gets worse.

One evening I was closing up. There is a movie theater in the mall, so people are still around after closing time. I had some things in the case that I was just going to have to throw out since we can't keep them for the next day. I was clearing those out when a man came up to me and offered to buy everything in the case if I would give him a good deal. That's fine with me! So I sold it all to him, and as I was collecting his food he said, "Oh, I'm sorry. I bet you were gonna take all of this home to your mom, huh? You're gonna have to call her and tell her you can't." Every time I tried to reply he would interrupt me with "Call your mom!" I know how one could easily mistake me for being a lot younger than I am. That's fine. But the fact that I am a junior in college, happily married, and unable to reply to his remarks due to his rude interruptions made me really mad. His tone was not as much playful banter as taunting. If I had had a gun I would've shot someone, but I don't know if it would've been him or me.

All well. New crazies every day. Most of the time crazies make me laugh. Sometimes they make me homicidal.

A synopsis of the last three months

Well, it has been a while. To make a long story short, we got married, we went on a honeymoon, and we still love each other. Ha.

Our wedding was beautiful. We only had a couple hangups:
1. my maid of honor got quite sick the night before and couldn't be there. That was hard for me.
2. my whole schedule went to crap. the whole family was anxious to leave the temple because of the drizzle that had started, so they all left after a few pictures and went to the luncheon. Dave and I didn't show up to our luncheon for another hour and a half.
3. This is connected to number 2, but not quite the same. Since there was a drizzle and a bunch of kids, no one wanted to take pictures at the temple. We don't have very many family pictures from the wedding. I should've just told everyone to suck it up because it was the only day we were going to get married and we wanted pictures, dangit. Alas, I didn't. I was feeling serene at that point instead of inflamatory. It actually stopped raining after everyone left. Go figure.
4. Dave and I got hardly any of our darn wedding refreshments! Why didn't we grab an entire cheesecake on the way out the door and to the love nest? I don't know. I will always regret that moment.

All things considered, the wedding day was fantastic. After a long hard day we retired to our pirate themed room at the Anniversary Inn. It was a pretty cool room. Since I had stayed up ALL NIGHT the night before (WHAT was I thinking?!?) I was so beat. I actually just fell asleep and I was so out of it that Dave went to Pizza Hut without me. Romantic, huh? It only took hours of being married to turn me into a big giant party pooper. I'm pretty sure this is an irreversible change.

The honeymoon was fun. We stayed the second night in a great condo in Vegas. They had a great pool, and it was really fun. We avoided the strip, which isn't very fun and just makes my feet hurt. We did decide that it was probably the only time on our honeymoon we'd have a full kitchen, so we went to walmart and got all the fixings for a great breakfast. It did turn out pretty darn great.

Next we headed to California. I thought I might die crossing through death valley. In California we went to Hollywood and walked through beverly hills, we went to the temple, we spent time at the beach, and we hung out. No, we did not go to disneyland or universal studios or sea world. At that moment in our financial lives I thought that going to a venue that was $200 for the two of us wasn't a prudent decision. We decided that it was better spent insuring that we didn't starve when we got home. I think it was a good decision. Dave did get quite sunburned at the beach, though. He was tomato red, and will never forget that I told him we probably wouldn't need sunscreen....I know. I'm a bad wife right from the start.

We eventually had to come back to real life. Now we basically spend most of our time apart. It's really hard. He spends time in Salt Lake for classes, and I spend my time working, and then reading novels for the rest of the day. It's a darn good thing the library is conveniently located near our house. We love our ward though, and we can't wait for callings. Married life is pretty great.

The New Digs

Here I am, keeping up my blog!The only problem is that I am getting married on Saturday and there are a whole lot of things that are more pressing than than throwing my two cents into the blogosphere today. And yet here I am.

Dave and I got the keys to our apartment this week. It is a little studio apartment in a house that was built in 1900. It has quite a lot of character. The layout is not ideal, but for what we're paying it is great. We live just off the main street, which is beautiful, but our neighborhood is a little questionable. Again, we are poor poor newlyweds and this will afford us MANY hilarious stories and wonderful memories, but I just will die if Dave ever leaves me home alone at night. Seriously. I might be killed. The hallway leading to our front door always seems to have an interesting smell. I can't quite put my finger on what it is. Fortunately I got a scentsy warmer for my bridal shower, so our abode smells clean, welcoming, and is quite the relief after walking through the hallway. I think beyond any other issue that may present itself, the largest one is that of the microwave. There is absolutely no room in this place for a microwave. We are thinking of putting up some shelving, so hopefully that will solve the problem. If not, we will have to actually PREPARE our food. Every time! No leftovers, no easy mac, no nachos. What's a college student to do??

The moral of the story is that I love my little apartment, and I am so excited to watch it transform into a little home. As soon as we get settled in you can expect an invitation to dinner at the manor.

Eloping sounds like a pretty good idea!

I am so lame. I am chronically ill. No matter how many times I say it or how many times I newly resolve to keep up a blog, inevitably it dwindles. Quite rapidly, actually. Today is the day I change that! Maybe...

Well, it has been approximately seventeen millions eons since the proposal. We are still very much in love. I would, however, like to have a chat with whoever came up with engagements. Yes, it was very fun to go shopping for my dress with my mom, my sister, and my best friend. Yes, it was fun (albeit wildly embarrassing) to have a bridal shower. Yes, it was also a good idea to have some time to organize the wedding, reception, luncheon, and honeymoon. These are all just small moments of the engagement though. The majority of the time I am grinding my teeth, glaring at happy married couples, and smooching. The smooching is fine. Seriously though, I just want to be married. I am so sick of waiting. I know many people outside of Utah stay engaged for a very long time. That is no bueno for me. It's not the physical aspect and limitations that make me want to be married. It's all the wonderful little things that I can't have now and that I can't wait for.

I want to come home every night to my sweet Dave so we can hold each other and either console or congratulate each other on the events of the day. I want to be a part of something more than myself and have a greater purpose than just my own survival. I want to fall asleep in his arms and see his face first thing in the morning (I do not, however, want him to breathe on me at any point during the night or in the morning. I'll have to take that hurdle as it comes). I want to get together with our married couple friends for game nights and dinners. We'll talk about our boring married things. I can't wait. I want to start saving for our first home. I want to be his mrs. I want to decorate our cheap little apartment. I want to be his wife. It's the marriage that I can't wait for, not the wedding.